the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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