So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Houston, we have a squirter
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think people are normalizing furries
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