my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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