I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Randomize
