His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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