# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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