She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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