I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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