Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
