There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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