Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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