i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
