i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
