I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
