Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
