I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
