Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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