I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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