some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
