He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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