I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
