We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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