The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
