i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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