how can u be prego again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
