i just google imaged poop.
the day after is always just damage control
pop tarts are not kleenex
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
third nipple confirmed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
