I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
