hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i think my cat just said my name.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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