and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
