Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
