I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
