the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
