dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
