im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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