So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
