Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize