booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
