I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
porn star boner night. come get it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
