The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
