what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
