hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What a dumb baby whore.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
