It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
