Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ttyl tear gas
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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