I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
