I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
