Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize