Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need to stop coming to work sober
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
