We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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