she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
