Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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