it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
