Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
