that's an acceptable place to lick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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