Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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