The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
