'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
