Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
