I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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