I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
