your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
