apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
