is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize