She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
