no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
