We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
